Scriptures on dating couples
Our focus has to be on urging men to love their wives like Christ loves the church, not on telling women to put up with husbands mistreating their wives like Satan mistreats us. I have prayed with couples, counselled with couples, written blog posts and articles and books, and have travelled to 49 of the 50 states and nine different countries to strengthen marriages in the church.By all accounts, I believe I’ve been an ambassador for improving and growing marriages.
So when I talk to a young woman in her third year of marriage and it’s clear she’s married to a monster, and someone wants to “save” the marriage, I want them to realize they are likely sentencing her to four decades of abuse, perhaps because of a choice she made as a teenager.But if my wife needs me to take her to the hospital in the middle of a game or needs me to pay her some attention, I have to act like I hate the Seahawks and not even consider my love for them in service to my wife.Let’s apply this principle in regards to how the church views marriage and divorce. I felt like I needed to take a dozen showers that weekend.The danger of what I’m saying is clear and even a little scary to me, because no marriage is easy. No husband is a saint, in the sense that every husband will need to be forgiven and will be troublesome and even hurtful at times to live with.I’m not talking about the common struggles of living with a common sinner, or every man and woman could pursue divorce.Her husband doesn’t think he has a problem that, in fact, the problem is with her “lack of forgiveness.” They had been married only three years and she had already lived through more torment (I’m not telling the full story) than a woman should face in a lifetime.
My thoughts weren’t at all about how to “save” the marriage, but to ease her conscience and help her prepare for a new life—without him.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Luke What does it mean to “hate” someone we are elsewhere called to sacrificially love? In essence, it means “love less than.” There are times when our love and allegiance to God may be at odds with human loyalties; in those cases, love for God, His light and the way of truth, must always prevail.
We are told to love even our enemies, yet Jesus here tells us to hate some of our closest family members. It’s okay (actually, commendable) for me to love the Seattle Seahawks.
I don’t know how God stands it, having to witness such horrific behavior leveled at his daughters.
Jesus says there are “levels” of love, and times when one loyalty must rise over another.
He has neglected her sexually except to fulfill his own increasingly bent desires.