Attraction magnets 12 best conversation topics for dating and pickup
Maybe your computer, or cellphone / i-phone, or MP3 player. I imagine that, for a narcissist, it would be akin to asking you to sit in front of your computer and connect to its soul. Chances are, you’re not going to find anything to connect to.
The ability to see other people at a deeper level, requires the ability to see ourselves at a deeper level.This dream can be so strong (and beautiful) that it becomes something that we come to superimpose on the true narcissist.Every little positive spark of something nice they said or did, enforces the “truth” of that dream.There is no old-appliances home for no longer functioning computers is there? Now extend that analogy to people, and you’ve got a sense of an extremely narcissistic world-view. A little bit of narcissistic self-centredness is necessary.We are not talking about the necessity to meet your own needs here.Whenever you behave the way they want you to, they love you, and when you don’t, they love you not.
Yet if you ask a narcissist whether they love someone, they might well say “yes”.
For someone who has blocked their heart, to the point where they cannot connect to themselves, superficial functional connections are all that is possible though. It is impossible to love someone who will not let themselves be seen, even to themselves. Again, the idea that ‘if we just try hard enough, we will find a way to create authentic connection’, can keep us tied up in a relationship that really only revolves around functionality, but, like a quest for a holy grail, holds the unspoken promise of one day becoming a connection of unconditional love.
For all practical purposes though, this is like trying to deeply connect to an appliance.
On the receiving end, this can feel like the frustrating experience of not being seen by the other, and not being able to get through to them or really communicate with them.
You know those days when electrical appliances break down, and you entertain the hope that if you just “do the right thing” they will spring back to life?
In the workplace, a person with narcissistic personality disorder will treat you like their best friend when they want something from you or when they somehow look better due to being associated with you.